Saviour
by GASPLudwig
Summary: Sometimes, I wonder why I was the Fastest Sperm. OC X PAUL. "Face it. I'm dorkiest of Dorks. The Dork queen. It's kinda not a secret."   "As long as I get to be your king."  "Was that supposed to be cute?"
1. Chapter 1

**When all is said and done in bed, does he love you the way that I do? **

Chapter One~ I'm Yours, Baby.

"COME ON! GOD DAMNIT! HURRY UP! WHAT THE HELL!"

"Dude, calm down. It's just a game."

But that did nothing to calm my jumpy nerves. Didn't he realize that this was more than just a game? But as the smaller version of myself in avatar form slowly tumbled into oblivion over the edge of some mysterious cliff, all hope abandoned me. Throwing down the controller, I huffed and stood. Zane laughed breezily, sending a fatal blow into the heart of a digital overlord that won him the game.

"I'm goin to get us some cokes."

He just nodded along, muffling his laughs as I left the room and he once again fell back into the world of Modern Warfare. Feet hit the shabby white carpet of my crooked steps, and I barreled down them, leaving the comfy carpeting behind for the solid feel of the wooden kitchen floor. Yanking open the fridge, there was nothing but the six-pack of soda cans Zane brought over on his way home from his shift at the shopping center down the street. Or what Forks called a shopping center anyway.

"How're those cokes comin, babe?"

He did that just to get under my skin. Not only was he being the total jerk-face guy he was by rushing me while he sat on his lazy bum upstairs, but he called me babe. Admittedly, any other girl wouldn't really object to someone like Zane calling them such a name, but after being friends with the bastard for the last couple years, that stuff really got to you. Like how he put his arm around you when you were at the mall, just so the other girls- the skinnier ones with nicer hair- would send me envy glares or swoon at the sight of him.

Don't let the 6'1, baby face, shaggy black hair fool you, the kid was the dorkiest of dorks. He was nothing worth dreaming about, I tell you that. He didn't seem to think so. And all the girls at school- that didn't know anything about him but his first name, and mine- were delusional if they thought he was worth fighting for. I smiled to myself as I took the time to stop in the bathroom on the way back up the steps. He could just put that in his damn pipe and smoke it.

Placing the two coke cans on the side of the sink, I ran the water and washed my hands. The routine seemed fake, and unneeded, but the hot water made my hands feel a little less like they would fall off from the refrigerated sodas I'd just carried. I caught a glimpse at the girl in the mirror. It was hard to believe that I was the fastest sperm.

"Need help?" He stood there in the doorway, smirking at me. I narrowed my eyes and tossed him a coke can. I secretly hope it explodes all over him. But he just grinned and led the way back to my room.

"You know, we should really start having Friday nights at your place. My overall lack of junk food and sugary drinks kinda puts a damper on the night." I sighed, throwing myself back on the bed. Ever since mom started going through that diet phase, we've had nothing but lettuce and carrots for weeks. This wasn't working out well with my eat-nothing-but-ice cream-and-pizza plan.

"Wanna go grab a pizza?" Zane starts wrapping up the controllers, already knowing my answer. Honestly, I wasn't that hard to read. I was a pretty simple person. Give me a pizza and I'll be happy. Give me coffee and I won't shut up. Give me icecream and I'm yours baby. That was that. See, simple.

"I heard you got invited to the bonfire." I hinted slyly as we walked down one of Lapush's dirt roads. See, people like me and Zane wouldn't normally get invited to such cool kid parties as the Bonfire. But Zane had this uncontrollable thing where he made every girl swoon at his looks. Sadly, it landed him with many a parties. And even more sadly, it left me alone on Friday nights. See, Friday nights were usually reserved for me and Zane time. But once that kid hit puberty, I had no hope.

Still, tonight was nice. It was rainy, and cold, which meant a break from parties and that nonsense, so we could finally just hang out again. That didn't mean, though, that every other girl in a ten mile radius wasn't whispering and pointing at the pair of us.

Sometimes I wished Zane was ugly.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two~

"I hate this." I say when we sit down and I've eaten barely two bites of my pizza. Zane rolls his eyes, his dark orbs the size of walnuts as a smirk spreads over his face. I wish I could smack it off, but don't, because then surely one of the many girls who were starring at him like he was God would beat the shit out of me.

I felt like I was in circus. Didn't Zane feel like this too? Even more so than me, probably, because they were actually looking at him, and I was just the side freak show? Did he ever feel like just standing up and bowing at them, or yelling "This isn't a zoo!" like I did at the movie theater last week?

"Just eat your pizza." He chuckles, starting on his third slice.

"Can't we go eat in the car?" I huff, because the only thing worse than having people watch you go to the bathroom, was having a bunch of girls watching you eat.

"They'll go away." He insists, before rambling on about Star Wars and some other weird stuff in which I just nod at appropriate times, because I'm way more focused on eating. I wonder if this makes me a bad friend.

But lying made a bad friend too, and these girls hadn't stopped watching us. I was on my second slice now, and was about to explode at the girls when the bell above the door rang. I prayed out to God, Allah, and whoever else happened to be listening, because at this very moment, some of the La Push gang walked in. The only thing that snatched the girls attention away from Zane, was the La Push gang, and in my mind, I was doing a happy dance.

"I don't like them." Zane comments, stuffing the rest of his pizza in his mouth. I roll my eyes at him, and sink lower in my seat.

"Of course you don't." I accuse, glancing at their table, where they've pushed two together so that all six of them could fit. It was weird seeing them in a place like this. Their huge bodies slouched over in their chairs, their legs hitting the bottom side of the table because they were too big, even that they were wearing shirts seemed weird.

Anyway, I was starting to get antsy, and when I get antsy, I get annoying, so Zane rushed me out to the car. "They're just weird, ya know? Like, into some bad stuff. Steroids or something." We sit in his car in silence while he starts the engine, it roaring to life after a couple of tries. Parking was going to be a bitch.

I jump as someone knocks on the window next to my face, and quickly crank down the glass. It's one of the Quilette boys, his hair wet and plastered to his face as the rain continues to beat down on his head. My eyes lock in on the wallet in his hands, confusion crossing my face as I realize it's mine.

"Oh, thanks." I say, snatching it from him and into the warmth of the car. "Uhm, I don't know how this works," I say when he continues standing there, "Do I give you a reward or something?"

"I was hoping you could drive me home." He says, a cheeky grin plastering wide across his face and I take a moment to notice how beautiful his teeth are. I look to Zane for permission, after all, he was driving, and waited until he nodded.

"Of course!" I tell the boy, though getting into a car with a stranger was something I was told never to do. But this was different right? Since he was getting in with us? He yanks open the back door and slides in, shaking out his wet hair.

"I'm Zane." Zane says, while I just sit there like an awkward idiot.

"I'm Seth, thanks a lot man, I'm almost late for work." The boy sighs, relaxing in the heat and comfort of the car, though he seemed to be contributing to the warmness.

"No problem." Zane says, his charisma shining through. I wondered vaguely how he was so good at acting. Five seconds ago, he couldn't stand the kid's guts, and now he was making small talk. And could I be sitting here anymore awkwardly?

I listened to Seth rattle off his address, and well as his plans for this weekend, before him and Zane burst out into singing the Star Wars' theme song, which I would usually join in on right away, but for some reason, my body was deciding to be awkward, and quiet, and boring.

"Listen, we're having a bonfire tomorrow morning after the rain wears off, you guys should come! It'll be fun, I promise, and we're all making something, so there'll be plenty of food."

"Sounds fun! We'll be there!" Zane calls to him as the boy enters his house. I smack Zane hard on his chest as we peel out of the driveway of Seth's house.

"I'm not going to that!" I shout, outraged that he included me in these plans. "What do you even wear to those thing?"

"Seriously? What do you wear?" He lifts a brow at me and sighs as he parks a few streets from his house. "You are SUCH a girl."


	3. Chapter 3

Take a Hint- Chapter Three

"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you." I seethe out in a whisper to Zane as I waddle down the beach to where a crowd of people were gathered around a giant pit. The fire wasn't lit yet, but so many people were there they didn't need the flames to keep them warm.

"Oh calm down, and stop fidgeting you look fine. Besides, no ones looking at you." He rolls his eyes. I know he didn't mean it to be mean, but I still felt a pang at his comment. No one ever really did look at me with him around, did they? But these jeans were too tight, and this shirt was too low, and my arms were too exposed, and my hair was curling up in the light rain, and my eyes felt heavy even though I wore little makeup, and my feet hurt from walking on this damn uneven sand, and I was freezing, and….that all. I sent daggers at Zane, but he was too busy smiling at some girl a couple feet away.

"Zane!" A voice yells out, and I see Seth jogging toward us, his shirt off as usual, and little beads of rain splattered all over him. Immediately my motherly instinct kicks in, and I untie the hoody from my waist.

"Oh my God, Seth, put this on, you'll freeze." I shove the jacket into his arms, an amused grin spreading over his face as he stares at me.

"Is she always like this?" He asks Zane, who chuckles and throws an arm over my shoulder.

"Oh yeah." He chuckles out, lifting his arm for a second to pull his tee shirt over his head. I cringe as I literally hear every girl on the beach swoon. They were all used to seeing the La Push gang without their clothes, but Zane was another story. He was muscled and tan, and pretty, and I hated him for it. He swung his arm back over my shoulder and pulls me into his side, pressing a kiss to my hair covered head. Oh he just thought he was freaking hilarious, didn't he? I narrowed my eyes at him, sending an elbow into his side as Seth tosses my hoody over his shoulder and leads the way back to the group around the fire.

"Guys, this is Zane and his girlfriend-" Seth begins to introduce us to most of the La Push gang but is interrupted when a snort of laughter bursts from my chest. He turns to me with a quirked brow.

"I am NOT his girlfriend." I say, loud enough for everyone to hear, and push out from under his warm arm to sit next to one of Seth's friends, Brady I think, and pull some of the blanket he has on his legs to cover mine.

"Thank God." Zane grins, going around and shaking all the boys hands, eventually sitting on my other side, while Seth plants himself in front of us.

"So you're Nelly, huh? I'm Brady." The boy next to me introduces with a nice smile, grabbing a handful of his blanket and reaching across my lap to spread it over me, and off of him. Great, now I'm a blanket stealer.

"Yeah." I say shortly, nodding my head. What was it about talking to guys that made me all nervous and clammy and awkward. It was like I barely talked around any of them, like I couldn't even get my thoughts straight. Hell, I didn't even like the guy and I was acting weird.

"So you and Zane, huh? It's weird I don't think I've seen you around. I know I've seen him." He thinks out loud, making me roll my eyes. Of course he's seen Zane before. Who hasn't these days?

"I don't get out much." I show him a small smile, running a hand through my hair.

"You don't do much of anything." Zane comments, laughing at himself, and leaning over me to strike up a conversation with Brady. Sighing, I let my eyes glance around the place, catching the eyes of another guy on the other side of the unlit fire. When our eyes meet, his sly smirk slips off his face, and he full out stares at me.

"Woohoo, Nelly?" Zane says, making me snap out of the boy's gaze and realize he'd been waving his hand in front of my face for a couple minutes.

"Oh, that's Paul she's looking at, don't worry, all the girls get like that with him. Just don't let him see you staring." Brady grins, making me narrow my eyebrows. Paul, I knew about him, right? Something in the back of my mind was screaming danger. Me and danger didn't mix well. It was right up there with jeans and screaming kids on the stuff I hate list.

"OH! The food's ready!"


	4. Chapter 4

There was something beautiful about a plate stacked with hotdogs.

Zane saw this too, and made sure we each had a plate of our own, before chomping down on the delicious little food, all rolled up into a nice bun. I take a bite of the sweet, succulent hot dog and cherish in its amazing flavor as it explodes inside my mouth.

"Hey," Seth is saying to me, ME, not Zane, ME, "feel like meeting some people?" I don't know what he means at first, because I totally didn't think he meant did I actually want to meet live people, and instead thought he meant something like do drugs. You never know with kids these days.

"Sure." I say, when I realize there's no hidden meaning, and leave my hotdogs behind to follow him to a crowd of his friends. Paul, the guy from earlier, stares at me as I walk over, taking a long sip from the red plastic cup in his hand. I could smell the alcohol radiating from the group. "This is Paul." Seth says, gesturing towards the guy as we stop in front of him, and then walks away.

I watch him leave, my brow quirked in confusion, before looking back to Paul.

"You're Nelly, ya? I've seen you around, I think." He starts. That's a first, I think. No one was in the habit of seeing me as of recent.

"That's me." I say quickly, and then search for something more to say. "We had Chemistry together last year." I explain further, but when he doesn't respond I try to find even more words, "You lit Marc Pence on fire."

He begins to nod then, a smile on his face. "Good old Marc Pence." He grinned at me, "Classic."

"Hey." Zane says loudly, walking up next to me and putting his arm around my shoulder- pulling me in close. He eyes up Paul, and Paul eyes up him and in the next few seconds Paul is shaking, and Seth is over trying to get Paul to come with him to get more drinks.

"I'm tired." I tell the group of guys, because the silence is killing me.

"I'll drive you home." Zane and Paul say at the same time.

"Uh, thanks." I say to Zane, and nod at Paul as in 'thanks anyway' before pulling Zane away and towards where we left his car. "Never again." I begin to rant as I pull out of the beach. "That was horrible. Absolutely horrible. Don't ever make me socialize again." I'm scolding him, still carrying on dramatically as I pull into his drive way and help his drunken body through the front door and onto the couch. I take his bed upstairs in his room, taking the time to brush my teeth and put a comb through my hair.

Zane was weird, but these La Push guys brought a whole new concept of the word into my life.


	5. Chapter 5

"You're in my seat." I say to the new girl in Algebra who's in my seat. She looks around her for a moment, as if wondering if I was talking to her, and then she apologized and moved. "I'm Nelly." I tell her, and think about extending my hand to her, but I hesitate because did people still do that these days? And before I could figure it out, it was too late.

"Chappin." She tells me, smiling sweetly. She was pretty, I think, way too pretty. I squint at her. She was new, so she probably didn't know anyone yet. It'd be easy to take her under my wing, but did I really want another Zane on my hands? With pretty people comes great responsibility. "Can I sit with you at lunch?" She asks, and then I'm screwed anyway, cause I can't exactly tell her no, and if she was asking me to sit with her, she had to be desperate anyway, right?

"Yeah, that'd be great." I shrug, and observe her as class starts. She has dark hair cut short and choppy, but it was hidden under a hat anyway, and eyes that were an odd colour of green. I smile when she catches me staring. I wonder for a minute what Zane will think about her. He'll probably say something about her being 'bangable', or maybe something about her being dimwitted, or something else that was Zane-like. She knew her fair bit about math though, and that was something she had on me, so she couldn't have been that dim witted.

"Where ya from?" I ask when the bell rings, and I'm taking my time to pack my bag.

"Nevada." She says, but I don't ask if she's from Las Vagas, or is she likes to gamble.

I don't talk to her again until we're in the lunchroom, because I wasn't very good at this type of thing, which was good I guess, because she was fidgeting a lot, and looking around her with wide eyes, and she seemed to like the quiet. Maybe she was a thinker. Or maybe she just zoned out a lot like I tended to do. Just as I'm starting to think she might be some kind of insightful prodigy of some kind, Zane walks in the room, heading for us, and she acts like every other girl would.

"Oh my God, I think that guy's looking at us." She whispers to me, and I repress an eyeroll.

"No way." I say enthusiastically, as if ready to gush about his hotness, "How's my hair?" I ask her, fluffing up my ends.

"Looks fine to me." Zane says boredly, ruffling the top of my head and sending strands flying. I huff at him and take the textbook he stopped at my locker to grab for me from his hands.

"You know nothing about beauty." I tell him, sticking my nose in the air and acting snotty. He rolls his eyes and sits himself down across from me and Chappin, who blushes deeply.

"Who's your friend?" He asks, locking eyes with Chappin and holding them until she blushes and looks away. Then he grins.

"This is Chappin. She's new." I tell him, and shift farther away from her to show him I wasn't so sure about her yet. He sticks out his hand and she takes it automatically.

"I'm Zane." He tells her, and shakes lightly. I try not to gag. Zane leaves us in search of food and Chappin turns to me.

"He's gorgeous." She tells me, as if I don't know, and I almost upchuck my breakfast.

"Ew." I throw at her pointedly, and watch her face blush red again. "Don't worry though, he likes you." I tell her. He likes everyone really, but I didn't want her to think he disliked her. That was the thing about pretty people, you never knew if they would ever actually like you.

"I mean I'd like to sketch him," she says, "He has such great bone structure, and did you see those eye sockets? Oh my God, they were perfect, and his chin shape!" She enthuses, taking a hard leather sketch pad from her bag and a pencil. I feel a smile twerk at the edges of my mouth. I, dare I say it, liked this girl.

"What are you guys talking about?" Zane asks when he sits, and I know that he knows we were talking about him.

"Going down to Morey's for a burger after school." I tell him, and he nods, taking a chunk out of his pizza slice before talking through his mouth full of food.

"I'm in."


	6. Chapter 6

"So I'm thinking about getting you a gift card to this place for Hanukah." I say to Zane, because the holidays were coming up, and I always took special care not to forget exactly when Hanukah started for Zane. He was probably the only Jewish kid I knew in La Push, and it seemed like every girl in the school was busy buying him gifts that he would never use.

He grins at me, biting into his third burger, and winking at Chappin, who rolls her eyes. "I like her." Zane says, when she excuses herself for the bathroom. I glance back to make sure she was still in there before nodding.

"Yeah, she seems like us." I say, but what I really mean is like me. She seemed like one of those people who weren't affected by the pressures of a good looking guy, and didn't hang out with people based on looks. She was sweet, though, and didn't annoy me like other people tended to do.

"And she's hot." Zane says, making me whack the back of his head. I jump when the bell above the door rings, and the La Push gang walks in. "Seth!" Zane hollers, and throws up his hand in a boy wave. Seth grins, and waves his friends over with him. I think the heart of every girl in the place stopped when the La Push gang pulled up chairs to sit at the table with Zane.

"I should call Paul." Brady says, and goes outside to make the call. Seth smiles at me, and takes a bite out of my burger while he orders his own. Ew, I think, but pick up the burger anyway to keep eating it. Just because it had Seth saliva on it, I wasn't gonna let it go to waste.

"So, I figure-" Chappin says, as she comes out of the bathroom, but stops short when she sees the new additions to our table. She blushes and walks shyly the rest of the way to her seat across from me.

"Guys, this is Chappin." Zane says, and Seth is staring at her like he's never seen someone so beautiful. "She's new." He smirks, and nods as Brady and Paul come in. He sizes up Paul again, and I could tell her didn't like the guy. Maybe he thought he was better looking than him, or that he'd take attention away from him. Still, I didn't mind him so much.

"Sorry man, no room." Zane says, when Brady sits down and there aren't any more chairs. I roll my eyes at him, as Seth starts talking to Chappin.

"Over here," I call, and wave him over towards me to sit. He smiles, and does.

"I think it's time to go." Zane says loudly, standing up.

"I'm not done yet." I say around a mouthful of burger, but Zane yanks me up anyway. I drop the burger back on my plate and dig in my pocket for the ten bucks I needed to pay. Zane throws down thirty, and asks Chappin if she's coming.

"I'll bring you home." Seth says in a rush, and Chappin looks back and forth between us before nodding.

"You guys go ahead." She says, and looks to Paul with wide eyes when he starts shaking.

"Dude, common." Brady snaps, while Zane puts his arm over my shoulders and starts walking backwards towards the door.

"Is he okay?" I ask, but no one answers me, so I turn with Zane and leave the diner. "Weird kids." I comment as I hop up into Zane's car. He snorts, as if to say 'what an understatement,' and starts to drive away. "You okay?" I ask him, one brow quirked. "You don't look so good."

"I'm fine." He says, "Just a fever."


	7. Chapter 7

What Zane described as a fever was anything but. He'd missed hanging out the last couple days, and he didn't show up Friday night when we were supposed to eat really expensive Chinese food and make fun of the people on really bad reality TV shows. The first couple days when I called he would answer and then say he had to go right away, but recently he wasn't even picking up his phone.

I hadn't seen him since last week at the diner, when Seth was acting weird around Chappin, and he made a scene and had us leave when Paul showed up. He wasn't in school either, and even though Chappin was making it a point to keep the conversation going, I wasn't much of a talker when Zane wasn't around.

"I'm going to his house after school." I tell her Monday. It'd been a day or two over a week since I last saw him, and I was getting fed up. Who did he think he was? How could he leave me, without even telling me how he was doing? My only explanation was that he was dying. He was dying over there, with a fever that was skyrocketing and he wouldn't even pick up the phone to call me. He wouldn't even give me the courtesy to see him before he died, and that was just selfish.

"Are you sure that's such a good idea?" She asks. She'd been hanging around with Seth lately. Seth, who claimed to have seen him. Seth, who says that he's fine. What kind of weird guy thing was it that he let SETH see him, but not me? If it was an STD, well, I could totally deal with that like a mature boy.

"You can come if you want." I tell her, but she shakes her head no. No, this was a best friend's kind of thing, and she respected that.

Afterschool I hurried over to Zane's house, and his mother answered the door. She looked like she hadn't slept in days.

"Thank God." She says when she sees me, and I feel my brows shoot up into the air. "I don't even know what's going on with him." She says, and gestures me into the house. "He's in his room. He'll talk to you, maybe." She says. She was one of those arrogant, entitled women, but at the moment she seemed like all of her energy was drained, and she just wanted things back to normal.

"I made soup." I say, and hold up the bowl. In truth, Chappin made it, but I wanted to make myself sound good.

"He's not sick. But he's not himself." His mother says, taking the bowl and heading for the kitchen.

I walk down the hall to his room, and push open the door. He's sleeping, but his feet extend off the bed, as if he's grown just a bit. I think about waking him, but instead I walk over to feel his head. I pick up his bio folder, digging a pen out of his drawer before scribbling him a note to meet me at the beach when he wakes, so that we could talk.

I leave his house slowly, but before I can even cross the street, he's behind me, calling my name. I turn with a whosh, and look up at him, but he's at me so quick I dot have time to process. He pulls me into him and I'm crushed under his thick arms and hot body.

"Zane." I say, and I look at him, and he's crying, and I don't understand.

"Oh God," He's saying, "Oh God, it's so bad, it's so bad." He says, and his forehead is pressed tight to mine and his hands are holding my neck, and I feel him shaking against me, and I start crying too, because my best friend is dying and I can't help it.

"Listen to me," I say and place my hands on his warm cheeks, "You're going to be okay. I'm here. Okay? You're gonna be fine." I say and he's shaking his head fast, and then he's mad, and he pushes me away but it's too rough and I fall.

"You don't understand." He screams and it's so loud and it chills my bones so much that I remember what his mom said. He's not sick, but he's not him. He was angry. His hands come up to grip his hair so hard I think he's going to rip it out, and suddenly Seth is there, and so is Paul.

"Paul, no." Seth says, when Paul looks at me, and then looks to Zane as if he's about to kill him. Paul helps me to my feet, and I watch as Seth grabs Zane by the shoulders and starts talking really fast and low to him. In a matter of seconds, Zane is calm, and looking at me with sad eyes.

Seth could calm him down, but I couldn't? Was it so easy to replace me? The second someone better came along, someone more popular, and beautiful, I was tossed aside. I feel anger boil up inside of me.

"You," I scream so loud that Paul jumps, I point a menacing finger at Zane, "Are an asshole!" I shout, and then stare him down to see what he'll say. I wait for him to laugh and tell me I'm being too dramatic again, or that he knew I still loved him, but he just started shaking again, and then everything went black.

When I woke up, I thought for sure that I was dead. I hadn't decided yet whether I was in Heaven or Hell or if I wasn't good enough for either when I looked over and saw Zane sitting next to me. Paul was in the room too, and Seth and Chappin. I try to lift my arm but the strong tug of an IV makes me lower it. I don't realize I'm in the hospital until I spot a nurse walking by the door.

"Nothing better be broken." I groan angrily, almost jumping as Zane's head shots up. Paul looks excited, as if he's been zapped back to life again, and takes a few steps towards the bed.

"I'm so sorry." Zane is whispering, grabbing my hand too tight and resting his head against my arm. I roll my eyes at him but he keeps repeating it over and over. I move to sit up but a sharp pain in my side makes me cry out.

"You've torn the stitches!" A nurse scolds me, hurrying over and pulling back a bandage to reveal a long bloody scratch on my side. "It'll scar." She tells me with a frown, and I just nod because what can I do about it really? "Tell your friends to go home." She says before she goes, "They won't leave."

I look around at them. I think about telling them all to get out, and to just leave me with Zane but that seems impossible. "Seriously guys, go home." I say forcefully, but no one budges. When I realize they won't go, I roll my eyes. "Well? What happened?"


	8. Chapter 8

For a few long minutes, everyone looks at each other, but no one answers me. Then, Seth speaks up.

"Paul should be the one to tell her." He announces to the room, so I look to him. He opens his mouth, then closes it, then meets my eyes, then looks to Seth, then looks to me again, and opens his mouth.

"No." Zane says forcefully, glaring down Paul. "I got mad and pushed you and that's all." Zane is saying, but he's not telling me, he's telling the others. When I look to Chappin, she looks down and refuses to meet my eyes.

"Bullshit." I snap, but Zane doesn't give me time to ask question.  
>"I'm sorry, really. Get some rest." He brushes the hair back from my forehead, pressing his lips to my head and holding them there too long. Paul grunts after a moment, and Zane pulls back. "We should go." He says to the others, and opens the door for everyone to file out, but Paul crosses his arms. "You too." Zane says, when everyone else has went into the hall but Paul still stands in the corner.<p>

My mom walks in with two cups of coffee, and spares me a small smile. I wonder shortly if she's taken off from work to be here. If she's bothered to tell my father.

When I look back at Zane, he still stares Paul down, but Paul pays him no mind. "Go." I shoo him, giving him a weird look. He does leave, and Zane spares me one last glance before going.

"What's going on with you two? That boy hasn't left this room once." My mother tells me, helping me to sit up further, and handing me a cup of coffee. I sip lightly, but the smoke along burns my tongue.

"I've known him my entire life, mom. Of course he didn't leave." I roll my eyes at her, though I wasn't feeling particularly kind towards Zane right now. What the hell was he keeping from me? And why would he keep anything from me?

"Not Zane." My mom shakes her head, "That other boy. Paul. He refused to leave. We had to tell them he was your brother." She chuckles, and I can tell she likes him. I scrunch my brows at her.

"Zane let him stay?" I asked, and my mother shakes her head again, pouring five sugars at once into her coffee.

"I don't think anyone could have made that boy leave." She tells me, and suddenly I feel light headed. Not because Paul had stayed with me here, but rather because for some reason, Zane allowed it. What did he know about Paul that he wasn't telling me? And how does anyone get a scratch like this from falling down?

"How long was I in here?" I ask her, as she lifts up the cover over my stitches.

"About a week. Don't worry, nothing exciting happened I promise. I heard Zane saying that life at Sam's had stopped completely. Everyone was so worried." She tells me, as if I hang out at Sam's or something. As if she knows anything about who my friends are.

"Right." I nod because I haven't any idea what else to say. "When can I leave?"

"Well, we were just waiting for you to wake up. You should be fine. It'll hurt, but you can get around." She tells me, and I know these words are probably the nurse's, and not hers.

"Alright." I offer a small smile to her, but she doesn't return it. I want to ask her to get Zane. I want to have him here, I want him helping me out of bed, and carrying me to the car, and eating junk food by the gallon while watching some crap movie, but I don't want this Zane. I want the Zane I grew up with, I want the Zane from two weeks ago.

It was another three hours before I could go home, but when I got there, Zane was waiting for me. His eyes scanned the trees as I got out of the car, nodding a bit to the branches as if in assurance. I squint at him, and wait for him to jog up to me.

"Get dressed." He says to me, as my mom hurries in the house to put on water for tea. He doesn't look happy.

"No, why should I?" I pout, sounding like a spoiled little brat.

"I'm taking you to Sam's." He says with a frown. And after looking at him for a few minutes, I agree.

"Let me grab my stuff."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine: The Comeback

When we arrived at Sam's, it felt like I was stepping into some sort of intervention. Somehow, I didn't think this was the same as the one Zane threw for me in fourth grade when I was getting a little too friendly with gummy bears.

"Nelly," Zane says, placing a hand on my back and pushing me further into the house. I smile graciously at Sam, because I know who he is, even though I never met him. I make a point not even to look at Emily. Her scars were too much for me.

"Since there was some argument over who should tell you," Sam says, walking towards me and offering me a seat on the couch. "I figured we could all do it together." I felt my insides all mush together in nervousness. I was about to find out a giant secret and there was nothing like that feeling. I sit on the couch, looking up at all their giant faces. I glance at Chappin hiding in the corner, chewing her lip nervously.

"Have you ever heard the La Push legends?" Paul asked, his brows pulled down. Zane took a seat at my feet, smiling small at me.

"Yeah, yeah." I wave him off, waiting to hear the secret. Who cared about the legends now?

"Nelly." Zane says, taking my hand inside of his and looking at me hard. "Fuck." He curses and his face turns a red hue with anger. "They're real." He seems to spit at me, shaking now. "They're all real, all of them. Nelly, that's what happened. It was me." He's raving now, but I don't understand.

"The wolves. Nelly, I know it sounds crazy, but you have to try and-"

"Show me." I cut Paul off, as he's trying to explain. I didn't quite understand what kind of psycho shit he was on about, but I knew I needed to show him that it was a psych trip, and not the actual thing.

"No," Zane snaps, but Sam puts a sustaining hand on his arm as Paul helps me up and leads me outside. I pass the rest of the La Push gang on the way, all of who are staring me down. I wink at a tall one and push past some other out into the clearing behind Sam's house.

"Whoa," I holler, when Paul behind stripping in front of me. Blushing, I look back at Zane.

"I'll show her." Zane offers, but before he can strip, Paul's body explodes everywhere into a million tiny pieces and then where he was standing was a giant grey wolf.

I don't remember what exactly I did or say, but I was sitting in Zane's car now, waiting for him to drive me home, and I was shaking. No one had said a word to me since- so I imagine I freaked out, or yelled at them, or called them mean names- but either way, I didn't mind.

When Zane finally got into the car, I try to smile and make a joke but I can't and suddenly im crying and Zane is driving towards my house.

"So the other day…..the scratch." I prod, running my fingers along the scar on my side.

"I lost control, and I was too close to you." He says, but he sounds exhausted, like he hasn't slept in weeks.

"What's wrong with you, Zane?" I ask, because even though he'd just told me he was part of some kind of psychologically unstable cult, that wasn't it. With a rev of the engine, he scretches to a stop in the middle of the road, looking at me.

"Do you know what it's like to love someone? Like, really fucking love them?" He's saying, his hands tightening on the wheel, looking at me hard.

"A girl?" I say, and try to laugh, "That's what this is about? Common, she'd be crazy not to-"

"God, it's not just that! You wouldn't understand." He seethes through clenched teeth. My hand flied to his arm and I squeeze hard as he starts the shake.

"Then explain it to me. Zane, please. Common, what's wrong with you?" I ask forcefully, and in the next minute before I can think or draw another breath, his lips are on mine, and they're too hot, and I don't move.

"Zane," I whisper, because I'm still searching for something to say, but before I can finish his hands fly to his head, gripping it tight.

"You don't get it! I can hear him thinking about you, and I want to feel that way. Fuck, I thought no one loved you as much as I did, and now this guy," he's speeding through his words, and it's so fast and sharp it makes me jump.

"Who's thoughts are you hearing?" I ask, tears nearly falling from my eyes. "Zane, you're not right up there." I tell him, but he's shaking his head.

"I have to go. I have to. Wait here." He says, flinging the car door open and running for the trees. Within seconds, Seth is climbing into the car, and starting the engine.

"Hey."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten: This is going to be good.

Normally on Sunday mornings, Zane would swing by and we would go out for breakfast. This morning, when Zane swings by, it's to ask me if we could sit inside, and talk. My stomach growls loudly, but I nod, and let him sit beside me on the couch. Part of me felt like I should hold him until he fell asleep, another part wondered if I should kiss him. What would it be like, I wonder, to date someone like Zane. The relationship we had wasn't really much different than a romantic one. Besides the kissing, and the sex, and then seriously talks about our feelings, we had everything that constituted a functional relationship.

"I don't know how you feel," He begins, making a point to sit on the opposite side of the couch. "And how I feel…. I just want you to know that I'll love you and protect you no matter what." He says, and I'd never seen him so serious.

"Zane, what's going on?" I ask. I was asking that a lot lately, wasn't I?

"Paul's going to talk to you today. He has something important to tell you. That's why I told you what I did yesterday. Nelly, I want you to know, I want you to have all the options on the table." He says, his eyes boring into mine as if he's pleading with me.

I squint at him, really hard, wondering what on Earth he could be talking about. Did he think I liked Paul? Did Paul like me? I stand up so quickly that he jumps.

"Sorry." I mumble, and then walk towards the door. He follows. "Zane." I say, as I pull the door open and he steps outside, turning to face me. "I love you." I say, and he looks like he's about to cry. And I guess he knows me so well that he sees the next part coming. "But it doesn't feel right." I say, as if I'm this big believer in destiny or anything like that.

"Think about it." He nods at me, though all hope has left his eyes. He starts to walk away, and looks back at me as he makes his way into the trees. I close the door behind me, breathing out a deep sigh before flicking on the computer in the kitchen, and microwaving myself a bowl of popcorn.

My mother walks in and stops short. "You're home." She states the obvious as I pull the popcorn out of the microwave and into a large bowl. "It's Sunday morning. Where's Zane?" She asks, regaining her wits and moving around me to get some coffee. I walk back to the computer, sparing her a glance.

"I really don't want to talk about it." I say a bit to hostile, and she leaves the room with her coffee. I pull up the first search engine that appears because I can't be bothered to type in Google, and type the only thing that's on my mind.

It's an interesting thing, researching the La Push legends. Mostly because all you can find for pages is shit about monsters. And to think of Zane as anything like a monster just wasn't settling right with me. My hand flies to the stitches on my side and I wonder if I'm being one of those stupid girls that would do something dangerous just for the thrill. Like be blinded by a monster.

When I stumble upon a site dedicated completely to the complete tales, I know I've found something. Shape shifters. Wolves. Protectors. But this much I knew already. I dug into some of the tales associated with the shifters, and right away I knew what Zane meant.

This was why Paul had stayed in the hospital with me, why Zane was talking about him with such hate, why he was always staring at me, why when I was close to him it just felt right, ad why kissing Zane felt so wrong. Imprinting. I could feel my chest rise and fall with the word. Was I being silly? Just a stupid girl, to make such assumptions? There was really only one way to find out.

I don't know exactly when I'd gotten into my mother's car, but as I entered La Push, I caught a flash of silver fur racing next to the car inside the trees. I felt like stopping, shouting out for Zane, or whoever else it might have been, but I couldn't stop now. I didn't want to talk to anyone else right now.

My tires skidded to a stop outside of Emily's, and I spotted Paul walking out of the forest, his chest huffing as he stared at me- and I know in an instant it was him running next to the car. I rush over to him, feeling awkward and calling up all my confidence.

"Well? I demand, stopping too close to him, "Did you imprint on me?"


	11. Chapter 11

"Can we go inside and talk about this?" Paul asks, looking around at his friends. It's the first time I notice them, all standing around watching us. I hadn't even realized we'd walked straight in the middle of their football game.

I could feel my adrenaline fading under their stares, my determination wavering. "Am I your imprint or not?" I almost snap, clenching my fists at me side to keep myself from crossing my arms like a little girl.

Slowly, his head starts to nod, as if he's unsure of how I'll react. "You're a lot more than that." He tells me, his eyes not leaving me.

"Do something for me then." I state more than ask. I take a look at all of his friends, while he keeps on nodding.

"Name it." He agrees, biting his lip.

"Stay away from me," I tell him, glancing at his friends who were all watching me, "Just don't…not until I'm ready." I say, though I'll never be ready. He keeps on nodding, but one of the boys was walking at me.

"Do you even know what you're saying? That's impossible!" Jared says in his most accusing voice, but Paul shoots him a look before he gets too close.

"Tell Zane the same." I say.

I look back at Paul, then to all of his friends, then to Chappin who sits on Emily's step, a book in her lap. She was an imprint too. It was easy to tell now. Before anyone can make another move, I turn my back on them, and hurry to the car.

Mom let me stay home for the rest of the week. My stitches seemed a good excuse for not going to school. I guess they told Zane about not seeing me, and except for the occasional howls from the forest, I hadn't seen or heard from any of them that week. It wasn't until Friday, as I lay in bed with my greasy hair falling around my face, and my arms like noodles from lack of moving from my bed, that there was a knock at the door. When I opens, I know it's Zane, because he's the only one besides me or my mom that had a key. I flick off the TV, propping myself up in bed with a few extra pillows as I watch the door. He opens it slowly, as if he's unsure of what he'll see.

"It's Friday." He states the obvious, "This whole not seeing you thing is torture, you know." He smiles, like I wasn't being a total tool the last few days. Like he's trying to see what I'll do. Like he's hoping I won't kick him out.

"If you didn't bring chocolate get out." I sigh, and sit myself up, pulling my hair into a high pony. He grins, holding up a plastic bag from the grocery store where he used to work.

"I've got Mean Girls and Legally Blonde." He reads the titles off the two DVDs he's got. As he fumbles to turn the two discs over and read the description to me in a comical voice, I watch him. The smile on his face as he reads aloud, the way his eyes flicker to me in amusement when he reads something about Tina Fey, the way he's stepping out of his work boots, and at the same time opening up the DVD case to slide it into my TV.

"How's Paul?" I ask, because I have to. He climbs into bed next to me as the previews start playing, and I can see the emotions flick across his face. Anger, sadness, finally he looks defeated.

"He's terrible, honestly." Zane says, trying to read my face. I make it like stone, as if the news doesn't affect me. "I've been horrible too." He tells me, as if I didn't know. As if he was trying to prove that Paul wasn't missing me more just because he imprinted on me. "He doesn't even know you really." Zane tells me as if he was just thinking out loud to himself. I almost huff.

"Zane," I huff, and look at him, and the look in his eyes makes me want to cry. "Let's go to a party." I smile at him, jumping up from the bed and making my way to the closet.

He furrows his brow at me, because this was so unlike me it was scary. "Party?"

"Please." I beg with both brows raised. I had the dying urge to drink until my stomach fell out, and forget about everything with the help of blasting music. "I just want to dance." I explain which is also true. "I'm going to shower. And there will be a bon fire tonight." I say, "there always is."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Eleven? For Bridget, who should probably be doing something besides reading this.

:

There wasn't a lot of people in La Push, but it seemed like the population had tripled tonight. As we walked towards the beach, I remember the last time me and Zane were here, where I scolded him for making me be sociable. Now here I was doing the same to him.

When we hit the beach, he gravitated naturally towards the gang, where everyone was staring at me. I stop short, watching him walk ahead and greet his friends. It didn't seem right to be there with them, not when Paul was watching me so closely. I grab a shot off a tray a boy is carrying around, and he grins at me when I throw it back. It burns and hits my stomach like a bowl of fire, but I take another before the boy's out of reach, and swallow it quickly before the last burn wears off.

"Shouldn't be doing that." A voice says, and I turn to see Seth standing behind me, smiling like he wished I'd just do what everyone knew was right.

"Leave it, Clearwater." I say, and my words are already slurring, because I wasn't used to drinking.

"Here." He hands me a beer bottle, and shrugs, like he wasn't going to bother to stop me. "Just stay close." He says, and that does it for me, I was getting as far away from him as possible. I make my way down the beach, sipping the beer as I go, and almost falling twice when my foot gets caught in a hole in the sand. When I'm a little way down the beach, I can feel the haze of being drunk settle over me. I didn't feel sick like I'd expected, or overly happy like I thought I would, I just felt out of myself, as if this wasn't my body anymore.

"Hey, shot girl." A guy's voice says, and I look up to see the guy who was carrying the tray of shots coming towards me. I stop short, because I'm outside of the fire light now anyway, and if I went any further I'd be completely in the darkness.

"Don't call me that." I slur, but the guy's still smiling at me. When he gets too close, I stumble back a few steps, and he grabs my waist to keep me steady, but doesn't let go. "Zane." I say, and I think it's loud, but it comes out as more of a whisper.

"You're Nelly, right?" He asks, still holding my waist in his hands, standing too close to me. I look up at him with scrunched brows.

"You know who I am?" I ask, and he nods his head, like he couldn't imagine that anyone wouldn't. I smile at that, and then before I can think of anything else his lips are on mine, and his hands are finding their way under my shirt. "No, no, no." I say, twisting my face away from his, but his grip tightens on my waist, his thumb digging into my hip as his other hand shoots up to grab hold of my breast. I hear air escape my lungs in a gasp, and my hands try clawing at his fingers, but I can't get a good hold.

"Zane." I mutter out again, as the guy starts sucking at my neck. Then a new thought occurs to me. Paul. Paul. "Paul." I call, but I'm not loud enough, why wasn't I loud enough? "No, no, stop it, seriously, hey," I'm saying, pushing the kid away, but he won't budge.

"Shhh," he hushes me, and brings me down to lay in the sound beneath him, as he grinds himself against my leg, and his fingers go inside my mouth to grip my jaw tight, making it unable to move it. His lips are on my breasts now; I can taste the tears that have sprung to my mind, catching glimpses of clarity through the drunken haze.

Then I fall into the haze, giving into the unconiousness that threatened me.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N~ Honestly, writing is the very last thing I should be doing, but I just can't help it! By the way, I love listening to music while I write, but I'm running out of good stuff! Anyone know some good stuff for me to listen to? I can honestly say I like all types of music, so shoot me some suggestions please! **

Chapter Thirteen: Warzone

I can feel everything. I'm so aware of every inch of my body that it feels like I'm set on vibrate. My teeth chatter like I'd just chomped on a cup full of ice, and for a few seconds, I don't open my eyes. Because if I open my eyes, this is all real. Eventually the inevitable happens, and I pull myself up, a ball of hot, throbbing lead in my stomach. I don't bother with the sand covering my body and instead lock my eyes on the fire a little bit away with a new sense of determination.

The wind whips by me and I feel it as if it's his hands roaming my body again, and I choke on nothing. I'm not going to think about those hands either, or how they still burned my skin, because that meant it was real too. I stand, and when I look down, and my jeans are unbuttoned, I lose it. That single fucking button pushed me over the edge. I can feel every organ in my body completely shut down, and my legs give out, forcing me to fall down alone in this darkness.

"Zane!" I scream out into the night, and this time it isn't a drunken whisper. This time, it roars from my throat, piercing the music around the fire, breaking through the crowd. But no one even looks my way. "ZANE!" I holler again, my throat clogged with tears that I swipe away with my sleeve. Snot ran down my face, and for a minute I let it mix with my tears, my face scrunched in more than just physical pain.

I see a figure jogging towards me through the darkness, and I struggle to regain my footing. What would I even tell him? But it isn't Zane that comes to me, it's Paul. He looks more confused than me when he stops in front of me, examining every inch of my body. When his eyes land on the waist of my jeans, where the button and fly are pulled down, I can't think of any type of excuse that seemed logical.

"Paul." I choke out, watching his dark eyes explode in madness, his face becoming red and angry fast. I hadn't realized I was still crying. Paul pushes me back harshly into the sand, letting me land a few feet away from him, as his body bursts into the form of a giant grey wolf. In seconds, the gang is around us, and everyone is staring at me. Except Zane. "Please." I whisper, and a sob shakes my body. I can't control myself now, my body convulsing and shaking without relent.

"Whatever it is," Seth says quietly to Paul, "She needs you. Calm down, dude." And he does. Within seconds, Paul is back in human form, and pulling on a pair of shorts one of the guys offered him, before I had a chance to look. I never wanted to see a penis again.

"Take me home." I demand of him, cringing when kids around the fire scream about jell-o shots. He nods, and before I even have a chance to wonder where Zane is, he leads me to his car.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Last to Know

"What did you do?" Paul asks on the car ride to my house, and there's too much accusation in his words. Did it look like I'd done something to myself? I don't answer him, half because I'm afraid I'll start sobbing and half because I've forgotten how. I needed a shower, and some coffee, and fucking Zane.

When we pull up outside of my house Paul helps me to the door, and opens the lock for me, because my hands are refusing to move. "Where's your mom?" He raises his brow, and it takes me a minute to process. I simply shake my head, not trusting my words, and he frowns. "I should stay with you." He states, but I shake my head again, and walk inside. When I get over the threshold, I turn to him and offer a small smile before closing the door.

Normally when I came home late at night, I ran through the house and turned on all the lights in case someone was hidden somewhere in the darkness ready to spring. This time I left them off. I wouldn't mind so much if a killer was somewhere nearby.

I walk to the kitchen, where I flick the switch on the coffee pot and take a glass from the cabinet, setting it down empty at the table in front of where I sit. Suddenly, I want to run to the door, and scream for Paul to come back. I don't want to be alone now. The coffee pot begins to beep, letting me know it's done brewing, but I can't process the beeping of the noise, and don't move to stop it.

I hear the front door click open. I know I didn't lock it, but I didn't think anyone would walk in. I wasn't ready to face my mom if she was home early. The kitchen light flicks on and Zane is standing in the doorway, a scantily clad girl swaying beside him. He has his arm around her waist, and is using his mouth to invade her neck. He looks to me, and his face breaks for a second, before he musters up his drunk courage and puts on a face that clearly reads 'I can do so much better than you, see?'

"Nelly," He says, and his drunken voice slurs so much it makes me jump and the girl giggles, "This is-"

Be he can't finish his sentence, because within the next second I walk quickly around the table to him and slap him hard across the face. The girl jumps back a step, and he looks at me as if he knows he deserved that. He had no idea. "Is this where you were!?" I scream, so loud I'm sure the neighbors can hear. Zane jumps and the strength of my words scare even me. "I needed you, I fucking needed you, you fucker, you-"

Suddenly, I'm sobbing hard, and my fists are flying at his chest and arms and face but he isn't hurt and he isn't hitting me back. I start sobbing harder when he tries to stop me; pushing away my fists and grabbing me to pull me flush against him until I was crying into his chest. He presses his lips to the top of my head, and breathes in the scent of me.

I hear the front door slam shut and I know the other girl has gone home. Zane notices my trembling, my complete lack of ability, and he sweeps me into his arms, carrying me up the steps. He stops at the bathroom, sitting me down on the sink counter before removing my shoes and hoodie.

"Can I?" He asks, but I don't give him any sign of answer. I was staring motionless and unseeing at the other side of the room. My hair was a tangled, sandy mess I'm sure, and no doubt my eyes were blotchy and red, and I probably had snot and mascara running down my face, but Zane didn't make a joke about any of it. He strips me down to my underwear, and runs the hot water of the tub. When he fills it half way and lifts me in, it's too hot, but I can't find my voice to tell him, so instead I let the stings burn me until I get used to it.

He pours cups full of water over my head, wiping at my face and neck with a wash rag. He was here now, and my whole being yearned towards him. But where was he on the beach, when I really needed him? When I called his name and he didn't come? Anger shakes through me again and I begin to cry, but Zane doesn't notice because of all the water he's pouring over me.

"You're my best friend, you know that? I love you, you know that?" He kept saying, but he didn't bother to ask what was wrong or why I had needed him this night while he was off with some girl trying to forget about me.

"Can you get my tee shirt?" I ask, my voice coarse and scratchy as he wipes my nose with the rag. He nods, and when he leaves, I break down again, promising myself that it will be the last time.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: So I don't know if I'm really late with this guys but has everyone heard Gotye's Eyes Wide Open song? WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME HOW AMAZING IT WAS SERIOUSLY! Anyway, I love it and decided that this chapter just had to be based on this song xD Anyway, if you guys want to shoot me a song you think would be good for this story it'd be kind of cool to see if I could base a chapter off of it Of course I'd give you a shout out and everything too! Anyway, here goes~

Chapter: Eyes Wide Open

When I wake up the next morning, I can hear my singing in the kitchen down stairs. Zane's gone from my room, so I hurry to put on a pair of shorts before I rush down the steps and onto the tile floor. He has some ancient record on, and is flipping pancakes high into the air before catching them on the glass serving plate my mother usually hid under the sink.

"How bad was I?" I ask, and he spins around, letting a pancake drop to the floor. I frown as he scrambles to pick it up. "Last time you made me pancakes I threw up all over that Tom kid's basement the night before." I try to grin at him, and watch him watch me. Knowing that he was waiting for me to make some sudden move or something, I fold myself onto a chair at the table, and pull a few strawberries onto my plate.

"Pancakes are good hangover food." He grins after a minute, but I can tell he's being careful with me. He turns the stove off and comes towards the table to sit. I take a minute to notice the defined muscles in his bare chest, how is old pink boxers are replaced by manly green ones, how he no longer slouched. He was different alright, I think to myself, but he still bathed me the night before, and he still stayed with me. "What happened to you last night?"

His question takes me off guard, and I realize that even though I'd eaten two pancakes already, he hadn't touched his. I meet his intense gaze and have to look away.

"I don't know." I say, though I do know. How could I not know? How could I forget? "Just really drunk I guess." I clear my throat awkwardly and call up all my strength to meet my eyes, so that I could watch him when I asked the most important question, "Where were you?"

It's his turn to look down into his plate, and I can feel him tense as he searches for words. Finally he looks up at me and opens his mouth.

"Hangover food?" Seth moans in delight as he walks in, "I know I'm supposed to be like watching the house or something but seriously? You're teasing me!" He says to Zane, grabbing four pancakes off the top of the pile and shoving all four of them whole into his mouth. He barely chews before swallowing. "I'll call the others." He says, and flips open his phone. He grabs another handful before walking into the other room. Zane still hasn't broken our eye contact, but when we hear Seth dialing a number, he pushes away from the table and runs to the living room to stop him.

Apparently he's too late because not five seconds Jared and Chappin walk in. She comes right up to me, ignoring the food and Seth, and looks at me hard. "What happened to you?" She asks, and I feel myself blush.

"Nothing!" I burst out, and everyone stops mid-bite to stare at me. "For fucks sake, nothing." I say more quietly, and push my plate away from me. Chappin squeezes her way onto the chair next to me and gives me a once over.

"Want to do something fun?" she asks after a minute, and it takes me a minute to figure out what she means by fun. I notice her bathing suit hiding under her tee shirt, and give her a smile.

"I'll get my suit." I smile, and walk up the steps.


	16. Chapter 16

I thought about refusing to get out of the car.

I wasn't so sure about stepping out onto the beach again, I was half worried I'd breakdown and have a fit. I watch Chappin step out of the car, with her new friend Kim, and wait until I see Paul and some of the other guys pull up in Sam's car next to us before I get out.

"Common, Nel." Zane grins, pulling open the door for me. I smile back and step out. In less than a minute Chappin links her arm with mine and we walk out of the sand parking lot and begin out walk down the beach to a place with less people and higher waves.

"Seth seems nice." I say to her, getting the conversation started. Kim rushes to my other side and links her arm with mine. I barely knew her and she was already being so friendly. I remember how much I hated people like her before the whole wolf thing, now I craved these people. I was in need of some good friends.

"He really is," She says, and starts off on a tangent about how their first date went. Half listening, I decide to face the music, and look around me at the beach. The sun is bright today, and I can feel it heating my skin. I felt like I haven't been outside in days, I felt happy. The wind swung past us and I pulled my hair out of its pony tail, letting it blow around my shoulders, and kicking off my sandals, I'd find them later.

I turn behind me to smile at Zane, but my eyes find Paul instead, and he nods as if to say he's okay. As if to say he doesn't mind having to walk behind me. That he's just happy to be near me. I smile back.

"Here!" Chappin exclaims, happy with herself. She puts her hands on her hips and grins at all of us before sighing and taking a long look out at the ocean. We'd wandered into a space of beach surrounded by rocks, blocking us from the view of all other beach goers. "Well?" She looks at us all, pulling her dress off over her head, she grins at all of us, "Common you pricks!" She screams, and kicks off her shoes, running for the waves while pulling off the rest of her clothes until every one of us was staring at her bare bottom swallowed in the waves.

All our heads whip to Seth, who is looking at her like she's the most insane but lovable girl in the world. A laugh springs from his throat as he meets all our gazes and shrugs. In the next second, they all throw their clothes over their heads, rushing for the waves. I watch them a minute, all of their naked bodies splashing in the water and tackling each other. A laugh erupts from me as I dig around in Seth's bag for a towel and lay it down on the sand. Taking a seat, I open up a magazine Kim brought. I wasn't in the habit of reading magazines, but it was nice.

"What the hell?" A voice says from behind me, making me jump. My whole body freezes as I turn towards it, and for a minute I don't think any of this is real. The guy from last night is standing above me with all of his friends behind him, towels slung over their shoulders as they look at everyone. When he sees me his eyes lock on, and a smirk slips onto his face.

"This is our spot." One of the girls with him tells me, but I can't look at her.

"Pat!" Zane's voice calls, as he rushes from the water. He grabs a towel on his way up, wrapping it around his waist and hugging the guy. He breaks eye contact with me and turns to Zane. "How's it going? This is Nelly?" He says, gesturing to me. The smile slips off the guy, Pat's, face as he looks down at me. As if suddenly he realizes who I am. As if suddenly he regrets it. I wonder what Zane has told him about me. Does he know Zane was in love with me? If they were friends I suppose so.

Zane looks at me, my tense shoulders, my wild eyes, the tears that are welling up. "We met." I croak out, and Zane squints at me, as if he's trying to figure something out. He turns back to Pat.

"Dude, it's not like that." Pat was saying to Zane, who was obviously much taller and stronger than he was. I tried to imagine the look on Zane's face. He glances at me. Waiting for me to tell him that it's not what he thinks, that this guy didn't hurt me, that I wasn't about to cry.

"Zane it's not like that." I defend weakly, but before I can even finish, Zane's fist met with Pat's face. Blood gushed down his face in a second, and Pat was on the floor, Zane on top of him throwing punch after punch. His friends went crazy, grabbing and punching at Zane, trying to force him off but Zane didn't budge.

"Dude, dude, what the fuck, stop, Zane." Paul is dragging Zane back, while Pat's friends helped him to his feet.

"He hurt her," Zane screams so loud and angrily everyone jumps, "He fucking hurt her," he screeches, and Paul lets him go, jumping on the guy himself and repeatedly punching him.

"Stop it, stop you'll phase, you bastards, knock it off." Jared yells at them, and it takes him, Seth, and Embry to get the two boys off of Pat.

"Get out of here," Paul says after a minute when he's calmed down. Zane still huffs angrily next to him, and Jared has a good hold on him. "Don't go anywhere on the beach, don't go home, get the fuck out of La Push. Do you hear me?" Paul seethes. Pat's bewildered eyes are barely able to open. He still lays on the ground, basically unconscious. He was bleeding so much we could all tell he needed a hospital, but most of his friends had run off, and none of us wanted to bring him.

"If I see him I kill him, understand?" Zane yells at a girl who's stayed behind, though she looks scared out of her mind.

"I need to go." Paul tells the guys, who all hurry to get him and Zane into the forest. Chappin stands next to me in the aftermath, looking at the unconscious guy on the floor and then to the girl hovering over him on the phone with the ambulance.

"We gotta get out of here." Chappin whispers to me, then louder, "We have to go, Nelly, we have to go." She pulls at my arm until my feet start working and we move as quickly as we can until we get into her car. She lets the towel she had wrapped around her fall and pulls her dress over her body when we get in the car, and starts the engine.

I curl myself up into a ball and wait for the questions I know are coming.

"What was all that?" She asks, speeding out of the lot. "Did you know that guy?" That's a stupid question, I think, but answer her anyway, with a single word.

"Rape."


	17. Chapter 17

A/N~ So I got some requests for longer chapters which is totally what I'm going to try to do! Plus Bridget is threatening me. Usually I just write out whichever idea I have, which sometimes equals half a page, or sometimes goes on for about five pages xD SO I'm gonna try to be more length-conscious! Anyway, here goes! :]

This chapter is based off the song BreezeBlocks by Alt-J. I'm going to see them in about a week so I'm feeling inspired xD I can't really describe the type of music they sing but it's really cool and you guys should definitely check it out and let me know what you think!

Chapter 17:

When I get back to my house, Zane is sitting naked in my living room with his head in his hands. He doesn't look up when we come in, but all the other guys do. They were clothed, thank God, and their huge bodies were squeezed onto my two sofas. Zane sits in the armchair by the door, and I realize how segregated he must feel from them. He was halfway between me and the pack. Half of him was still with me, but another half had to be with them. He could never be mine completely.

"I need a minute." He says, and moves around me out of the house without meeting my eyes. For a few excruciating minutes, no one says a word. Hell, no one even dares to move.

"Anyone going to tell me what all that was about?" Seth asks, but Jared and Embry whack the back of his head before I can even process it.

"I'll get back to you." I smile at him, so that he knows nothing is wrong, and make my way into the kitchen to finish putting plates from breakfast into the sink. The old habit was easy and helped clear my head.

"So," Paul says from behind me, making me jump and turn towards him, "Want to do something crazy?"

I never thought about what a thrill it was to stand at the edge of a huge cliff, looking down at the splashing waves below, and knowing that you're about to jump off. I look to Paul, and he outstretches his hand to me. I take it.

"Don't think. Just jump." Paul tells me, a full blown smile on his face. He was way too happy about all of this. A laugh springs from my throat. I can't help it. I was happy. Before I can think, I jump. Just like he'd said.

I don't have a chance to think before I hit the water, but Paul's hand still holds mine, even though the force should have knocked us apart. The water is still and the silence was endless. I could imagine myself lost out at sea, where there was nothing but quiet for miles. Maybe I would like to live somewhere like this one day. Where it was quiet for hours on end. But at night it would get cold, and the water would be threatening. A chill runs up my spine and I look to Paul. He's watching me, so I smile to let him know that this is more fun than I've had in weeks.

"You're insane!" I yell at him, because a part of you had to be if you were jumping off cliffs. He laughs loudly, and I can feel my heart yearn towards the sound. It was like I was happy by association. Like just being this close to him was what I needed in my life.

Before I realize what I'm doing, I lean in close to him. His face becomes serious fast, as his eyes travel all over my face. Don't think, just jump- I hear his voice in my head, and I don't think. Before I can even process, I slam my lips to his.

My mouth works sloppy and desperate against his, and his hand leaves mine to grab at my waist to hold me against him, as his other palm cradles my face. I feel my body swoon into him, and wonder what Zane would think. I pull back sharply.

"I'm sorry." I breathe against his chin before pushing away from him, swimming towards the section of cliff that we climbed up to jump. Once my feet his solid ground, I charged my way back to my place. I'm pretty sure Paul was trailing behind to make sure I got there okay, but he kept his distance.

"Nell?" Zane calls when I walk in the front door. I meet him in the kitchen, where he and Chappin are whispering. "We didn't know where you went." He says. I hadn't even thought to tell anyone where me and Paul were going, or that we were going at all.

"Yeah sorry." I blurt. But I wasn't sorry about going away with Paul, I was sorry about the kiss. About letting things get so out of hand these days. I should have wrangled this situation into a neat and orderly peace. Instead I let things get so out of control that I barely know the difference between the love I have for the boy I'd known my whole life and the boy I'd just met.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He asks, but that's the last thing I want to do. I shake my head and his eyes don't leave me. "Tell me what you want me to do." He says. Hasn't he done enough? From bathing me that night, to beating the living crap out of that Pat guy, he really hadn't done anything but look out for me since it happened.

"I want to talk to you. Alone." I say, glancing at Chappin. I wait for her to agree, and leave the room. A few seconds later I hear the front door close, and I take a seat next to Zane at the table. His hand reaches out to hold mine atop the table, something we always did, but now it seems strange, so I pull my hand back.

"What is it?" He frowns, and I can't tell if he means why I pulled my hand back or what I wanted to ask him, so I go with the latter and decide to just blurt it out. Don't think. Just jump.

"Where were you that night?" I ask, and I can literally see the pain hit is face as if I'd punched him. He goes to grab my hand again but I fold it in my lap with the other and look at the table because I can't look him in the eyes.

"I was with a girl." He says, watching me for my reaction, but I keep my face straight. "Nelly, I didn't know, fuck I didn't know, if I knew-" He rambles on desperately but this time I reach out and grab his hand, squeezing it hard and finally meeting his eyes.

"I just had to know you weren't just….just ignoring it. Like pretending you didn't see it happen." I admit, and for a second, his face is in complete shock.

"I should probably go." He says when we've sat in silence for about a half hour. He had patrol duties tonight.

"Yeah," I say, letting go of his hand, "yeah."


	18. Chapter 18

A/N~ I know I'm awful! Seriously, school has been crazy, but things are slowing down a lot now, so I found time to put in a new chapter here and there! I hope you guys like this and don't hate me too much. Let me know what you think, or rant and yell at me if you wish I deserve it!

Chapter 18:

I hadn't seen anyone for a week. For a week, I had sat in my room, with bags of chips and cartons of ice cream that Zane left outside my door, and watched movies about girls in high school who hated their parents and drooled over some other muscled teen who ignored them until now. They were movies for the soul.

When I wake that morning, I run to the bathroom, because my tongue feels like it's jumping from my mouth. I throw up in the sink, and run water over it to rinse it all down the sink. I hear Zane outside my bedroom door putting down today's supply of junk food, and listen close for him to leave before I open the door and step out.

My hair was in a messy bun, my sweat pants sagged down low enough for my underwear to stick out but my big tee shirt covered that part anyway. I slip on a pair of my mom's flip flops at the bottom of the stairs and head outside. The sun actually hurts. I almost hiss.

I had one thing in mind. Only one place. When I reach the grocery store, I scope out the isle that would be best to go into. I pick the one where an older man is checking out customers and make a mental note to enter that isle once I've received my goods. I enter the women's isle of the store like I've been there a million times. As if buying condoms and birth control was something I did regularly. But I walk past these things, to the end of the isle.

The pregnancy tests were lined up on the shelf in a neat and orderly fashion, as if anything about me was neat and orderly. I snatch three so fast I think you would have had to have super vision to see it. I hold them tight in my hand so that no one can see the revealing front of the boxes as I make my way up to the counter.

I place them down in front of the man, who scans them, and reads off the price as if he does this a million times a day. Maybe he does.

I pay him a dollar too much, but take my tests and leave regardless. I was trying really hard not to think too much. When I get home, I tear the lid from the first box with my teeth. My pants are halfway down by the time I get to the toilet. I'd saved up a nights worth of pee for this.

I finish the first test and place it on the sink while I wait for it to decide. In the meantime, I pee on the second stick.

Three hours later, I am pregnant.

I hear Zane outside the door again, dropping off sodas for the next few days. I place my hand on the door handle, but I can't open it. I can't face him. Instead, I slide th tests out to him from under the door. I hear him pick it up. I hear silence.

Faster than possible, the door flies open and I'm in his arms. For the first time in days, my face scrunches in a pitiful, red mess and I cry. Stress wasn't good for the baby.

"What am I gonna do?" I sob into him, "What am I gonna do?" But Zane doesn't answer. I don't think he can.

After a minute, he Pulls back and takes my face in his hands. He's crying.

"Shhhhh," He hushes me, "God, are you sure?" He asks. But I knew even before the tests I just knew. I couldn't see myself getting past this. "Can we make a deal?" He asks, but I don't acknowledge that I've heard him. "We cry now, but in an hour we talk. We really talk." To this I nod.

An hour later, we sit on my bed, numb. He holds me against him, and I hold my stomach against me. "What are you thinking?" I ask, but it take him a minute to answer. He clears his throat.

"I'm thinking if you'll keep it." He answers honestly, brushing hair from my head.

The thought of abortion hadn't even crossed my mind. I could, technically get rid of it. I could kill it. The thought makes me want to throw up more than I already did.

"I can't, I can't do that, I cant." I shake my head, and have to hold back tears again. Zane breathes in deep.

"Listen…are you listening?" He asks, and I nod, "I think we should say it's mine."

His words make me sit up and look at him. "Zane…"

He smiles at me, though it's not like he used to. "They'll all be thinking it anyway." He laughs, and moves to plant a kiss on my forehead, but he holds it for a long time. I want to do the same to him, but instead I let him comfort me.


	19. Chapter 19

Zane left late in the afternoon, right when we were about to talk seriously about this whole thing, because he had to run patrols. The idea made me feel safer, I admit, but maybe that was selfish. It was dangerous for him, right? What right did I have to feel safe while he was out there risking his life for me.

He'd been doing that a lot lately. Claiming this baby...he was just trying to help me, save me. Zane was a good guy. That was obvious, but wasn't I being selfish by making him throw away his life? He's right about one thing, though: all those kids at school will think it's his whether we tell them it is or not. I think about the look on all those girl's faces when they find out about the pregnancy, and laugh. I probably should be doing anything but laughing at this point, but honestly, it was the only thing keeping me from crying.

I wasn't being selfish was I? I mean, Zane had offered to claim the child as his, I didn't ask him. It was his choice- he could get out at any time. He had no obligation here. My mother would be happy, at least. What would the La Push gang think? What will Paul think about it? The thought makes me sick. Literally. I rush to the bathroom, spilling up the little bit of ice cream I'd eaten that day.

I wasn't this type of person. I wasn't the type to sit around and whine and cry and feel miserable. Baby or not, this wasn't who I was. I couldn't keep this up. Sitting here being sorry for myself and wanting to die wasn't helping anyone with anything. And eating nothing but junk food definitely wasn't helping this child.

It's weird to be pregnant. It's weird to think about having a person inside your belly. There was a little someone inside of me. One with hands and legs and a face. Someone who depended on me for a change. I didn't see the child as evil. It had nothing to do with this. Was this completely stupid of me? I should hate it, right? Anyone else would hate it…

But he needs me now. He needs me, now more than ever. And it's that thought that makes me stop. He. Somehow, it's not a thing, it's not a person, it's mine. It's my own little he or she. I couldn't keep doing this. I had to start making decisions for two people now.

Walking to my closet, I pull off my shirt and step out of my pants. I had to find something better to wear. Right now, that was my top priority. It was easier to take things one step at a time. I toss a clean, pink shirt on and a pair of jeans that weren't too tight around my stomach, just in case. I fix my hair into a neater pony tail, and take the time to tie up a pair of boots.

I thought about going to Chappin's house, but I wasn't sure she was home. I didn't know where Paul lived. Getting out of the house was my top priority now, so I decided on the only place I really knew how to get to.

When I showed up at Emily's, I don't know what I expected. I let myself in, and was halted by the sight of practically the whole La Push gang sitting around the living room. Paul with sitting there with his head in his hands, and wouldn't look up at me. Zane was laying on one of the couches with a pack of ice on his shoulder.

"You look like shit." I tell him, because it's something I would have said a few months ago before all this happened. He grins.

"Do you love him?" Paul asks me so suddenly I jump. No, not the way he meant. But yes, I did love Zane. I narrow my eyes at him.

"I don't have to be with you." I tell him, just in case he hadn't realized that yet. Recently, I've been feeling like he had some claim over me, like I wasn't allowed to be with anyone else.  
>"But you want to." He says, and it's strong, like he knows for sure though he doesn't. He's right though. I did. I didn't even know him, but I wanted to be close to him, even now, I wanted to sit next to him and touch his arm of hand of shoulder.<p>

"Is Emily here?" I demand, hands on my hips. I'd never talked to Emily before. Her scars always scared me, and she was always hanging around so many guys that it was hard to get her alone. Now, though, I needed a girl to talk to.

"She's in the kitchen." Sam tells me with a frown. He obviously didn't like me too much. Who could blame him, though, I probably caused hell between the members of his pack. And by the sight of Zane and Paul at the moment, it looks like they've been fighting.

I find my own way to the kitchen, and find the woman moving cookies from the oven to a tray. She turns when I come in.

"Can we talk?" I ask, and she looks at me for a minute too long before nodding. We go to the backyard. I can picture sitting out here, drinking iced tea and watching kids play with the pack. I wonder why she doesn't have kids, but don't ask.

"I've heard a lot about you." She smiles, and bites into one of the cookies she's brought with her. I turn mine around in my hands.

"You too," I say, though I haven't. "It's nice to talk to a woman sometimes, ya know? And my mom…she's uh, not much of a mom, ya know?" I blush.

Emily is nodding. "Why don't you tell me everything." She says, and her hand holds mine on the table. "Just tell me all of it…share the burden."

That's all the coaxing I need. IN a rush, everything comes out. "Zane is my best friend, he is, and I love him, I love him so much, I really do, but Paul I feel this, this, connection, like I love him too but I don't really know him, and how can you love someone you don't even know? And maybe that's crazy but I've been crazy lately an stupid, God, I'm so stupid, I honestly don't understand myself lately, and I don't know if anything I'm doing is right or wrong, and that party and that guy, and God, that guy and now I've got this baby, and it's not Zane's a swear it's not his, but he said he'd take care of it, ya know? And I trust Zane I really do. I trust him with my life and this baby needs more than me, I'm insane, and Zane always knows what to do. What else a, I supposed to do? What-"

A sob cuts me off and Emily takes me in her arms. I feel silly, sitting here crying with a stranger. Especially when I'd already said this was the last time.

"Okay…." She says, when I've settled down and she's still processing, "Okay. Pick one." She says, and holds two fists out in front of her. I give her a confused look. "Just pick one!" I point to her right hand and she unfolds her empty hand. "It's Zane." She tells me. One hand was Zane, and the other was Paul. "Are you disappointed?"

The simply answer was that I was disappointed. I wanted Paul. I wanted to love and be loved and be with Paul. "It's not that easy." I tell her, and she frowns at me. "How soon until I start showing?" I whisper to her.

She takes a minute to think. "A couple weeks, probably. You're pretty thin. It'll be noticeable quickly." It's my turn to frown.

When it's time to leave, Zane slips his jacket from his shoulders and wraps me up in it. I let him lead me outside into his car. When I look back, Paul is watching us. We don't say anything until we're almost at my house. I reach my hands inside the pockets on his jacket and my fist closes around a small velvet box. My heart stops and I pull it from the coat.

"Zane, what's this?" I croak, though I already know. The box is small and grey and made of velvet. It's heavy.

He looks at me, then swerves and curses. "Nelly, I just, I figured, you know, cause of the kid, I just thought…" He trails off and I let it be silent for a few minutes. I open the box and close my eyes. The ring is small, but glistens like something Zane would explain as a star.

"Okay." I tell him, and he looks at me for a long time. We pull up to a stop light. "Yeah, okay."


	20. Chapter 20

I'm still soaked from the rain, sitting on my couch trying to talk myself into putting Zane's ring on my finger, when the door bursts open and Paul rushes inside. "You can't marry him." He tells me, but it's not harsh or demanding, instead it's a question. Like he's begging me.

"Paul-" I begin but he cuts me off, pacing the room as his mouth winds off a rant.

"You don't get it! I love you, I really fucking love you! And I know we don't really know each other but I want to know you! I want to be with you, kid or no kid, I want to be the one who's standing at the end of that isle whether it be now or fifty years from now however you want it, I'll be waiting for it I'll be waiting for you forever, you couldn't possibly love me as much as I love you I get that but I can't sit here and let you marry him-" He rants so hastily I'm afraid he's going to run out of breath altogether.

"Paul, just-" I try again, but he won't hear me.

"He's your best friend, I know that I wouldn't want to change that, it might not seem like it but he's practically my brother too, really he is, I'm not saying you have to give him up but don't be with him this way-"

He continues to rant, holding onto his head as he paces, and I have to grab hold of his neck to make him focus on me. "Just," I begin, pleading with him, "Just… kiss me, okay?"

And he does.

He grabs my body and pulls me so close to him that I think I might dissolve into him. Within seconds I'd managed to push him up against the wall. I couldn't help but think about how desperate this felt. He was desperate to convince me that I should be with him, and I was desperate to just feel normal again. When my hands work their way under his shirt, and tug at the loose fabric, he pulls back and stares deep at me.

"Are you sure?" He asks, but I've never felt so sure about anything as I did right now. I groan at him and his polite ways and tug at the fabric again. He takes it off and for a few seconds I'm huffing against his bare chest in an attempt to catch my breath. I felt his hands on my hips, but they were everywhere at once. Unbelievable warmth spread throughout my body, unlike anything I'd ever felt, it was like there was a chain hooked between our hearts. As if as soon as I pulled away from him my heart would be pulled right out of my chest.

~~~~~~~!~~~~~!~~~~~~!~~~~~~~!~~~~~~!

When I woke up the next day, I managed to go a full minute without remembering the night before. But when I turned over, Paul was asleep. I tried to get up but his heavy arm was laid over me. Cursing, I take a deep breath and take a minute to stare at his face. Slowly, his eyes crack open and he groans.

"I-" he begins but I cut him off before he can speak a word.

"Please," I plead with him, my hand coming up to brush along his forehead, "Don't leave me." I rest my head against his and wait for him to insist he has to go. But he doesn't. Instead, his arm tightens around me, and he pulls me as close to him as I can possible get.

"I'll think about it."


End file.
